“Do they sell aluminum foil and cinnamon in hell? ….No, they sell MSG”

After promising her students that she would make 50 cookies, Anna and I met up to buy the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.  Not knowing how to say certain ingredients in Chinese we looked up the words on Google translate and wrote them down. We arrived at the supermarket and went to the back in hopes of finding sugar. Anna grabbed a packet of what seemed to be crystallized sugar that read, “Lotus Flower” and had Chinese characters underneath it. Next, Anna joyously asked a woman to assist us in finding baking powder and vanilla extract. After showing the woman our Google translate words, ever so sure of herself-absolute no hesitation , walked to the other side, bent down and happily gave us a small, hard bag that read, “Instant drying yeast”. I looked at Anna and told her that it wasn’t what we needed, but being hopeful, she grabbed it and put it with her other odd ball collection of ingredients. As we’re walking to the cashier I read Anna’s mind about needing aluminum foil. What should have been like a half an hour run to the supermarket, turned out to be a 3 hour quest to find aluminum foil. We hit every convenience store, and we just kept finding the one thing we didn’t need- plastic wrap. The whole time, we were waiting on Sarah to meet up with us and grab dinner, but she wasn’t answering her phone. So not only did we have to find this damn aluminum foil, we had a missing volunteer whose phone was off and was supposed to be with us 3 hours ago. We went back to Anna’s apartment in hopes that Sarah would be waiting there. 2 Minutes after we walk in, Sarah knocks on the door.

 My first question to her was, “How do you say aluminum foil in Chinese??”  She looks it up on her phone and it says, “Lubo”. For fuck’s sake, such a simple word for such a complicated item. Now for the rest of the service in China, that will be the one word I will always remember. The three of us went out to get something to eat, and Anna was still convinced that there would be aluminum foil in a random convenience store, but she had no such luck. It was just odd to us that it was hiding, or no one knew what we were talking about when we kept saying lubo. It’s as if it was hidden in a magical tunnel, like it was some kind of prized item that no one could have. It reminded me how I could never find cinnamon when I wanted to make ginger tea. I followed all of Anna’s steps, and wrote down what it was in Chinese. I even had a duel language, visual dictionary to show the people and they looked at me like I was making it up. My mother’s friend sent me a package last semester and in it was a cinnamon packet because word got around I couldn’t find any in China. The aluminum foil must be where the cinnamon is hidden, it just has to be. After giving up, Anna derived a plan to mix the cookie batter in a rice bowl and cook them on a dumpling steamer. On top of that, a brilliant idea came to mind to bake them over the stove, as the other ones were cooking in a small toaster oven. This made perfect sense, because after all, hard boiling eggs and making popcorn in a tea kettle totally worked out just fine the other day. I trusted her instincts. It was turning out pretty well, and looked like delicious cookies that even smelt like cookie dough.  All of a sudden I hear, “fuck, shit, fuck omg, fuck” Sarah and I both looked at each other and ran to the kitchen.  We both tried a small piece of the grilled cookie and simultaneously spit it out like it was venom. 

Sarah picked up the sugar package that said “Lotus Flower” and read the characters underneath. “You poured a whole package of MSG!!”  

Me: “I told you it was odd it had ‘lotus flower’ on it!”

Anna: “Yea but I saw a ‘lotus flower sugar’ on it too”

Me: “So why didn’t you get that instead?”

Anna: “The other one was cheaper”

Me: “Well, that’s what you get for being cheap” ]

Anna: “Yea, a cancer cookie. It always felt brown to me, I thought MSG was brown.”

 If sugar was MSG, what was baking soda?? Anna looked over to Sarah and asked, “Can you tell me if this is baking soda?”, as she threw the packet over to Sarah. Sarah looked at the package, leaned back and then pulled herself up again, and as she tried forming sentences, she started to laugh with each word. “This is instant drying yeast, it says it right here in clear English.” After Anna sent her students a text saying she didn’t make the cookies, a student responds, “It’s ok, we know you tried your best. Thanks so much.” Under her breath she whispers, “My best was trying to kill them… and I failed.”

That package is hanging on her wall now, with a note that says “Never, ever buy this  ever again”

…Yet another brilliant evening with Lanzhou’s finest response volunteers. I enjoy every moment of it. If I ever feel shitty, I’ll just keep this conversation in my pocket and pull it out when I need a good hard laugh and the world will be just right again. 

The Police Station

I was sitting on a bed in an office, belonging to one of the police man , looking around. The room was cold with dirty walls, two wooden desks facing each other and two beds next to each other on the parallel wall. I felt like I was in an episode of Dexter and that was his secret hiding spot where he  kills and then goes to sleep, satisfied. To my left was a chair. It was a 20^th century torture chair with hands and legs chains. My friend and I both looked at each other with disbelief and we only had one thought in mind, “Take a picture!” My friend pulled out his phone and aimed it at the chair. The police man was trying to spit out an English word, when he finally said “forbidden”. My friend didn't listen and just kept aiming his phone on the chair until he got a clear picture. Without a care in the world, the police man just kept writing things down. At this point we had waited 40 minutes for a man from the foreign affairs department to come. 

Richard finally showed up. He was the only one who was able to speak English. He knew Peace Corps and my Waiban, Zhou. He pointed at my friend and said, “You know me!” My friend was a bit confused, when Richard interrupted and stated that he came to Lanzhou University last year to do an orientation on safety and policy to all the foreigners. Then, he also told me he knew me and we had met before at the Gansu Foreign Provincial Day. He started to work for Peace Corps about 6 years ago and his first case was the stabbing of the American-Asian volunteer in Lanzhou. More men started trickling in just to see the two foreign sitting ducks and were curious to speak to us, except for one guy. He was the chief officer of the police station. When he asked Richard a question in Chinese, my friend laughed at the comment when I asked him to translate. The chief officer said, “If she can’t speak Chinese how the hell is she teaching English?” In which I told my friend to translate, “In my first two months in China, I learned how to bargain, buy my own shit, ask for directions, and tell people what I do, where I’m from,  what my parents do and what I like. You've been learning English since you were 5 and can’t speak one word of it. How the hell are you not ashamed of yourself?” Just kidding, I wish he told him that! At that point I was just fed up with the whole situation and starving that I wanted to walk out.  Richard got off the phone with Zhou, and apparently told him to come. When I asked why, he told me that it would be better if Zhou got here to go over the documents. 

We were moved to another room across the hall where another man was sitting, but he actually looked like a police man. There we were the six of us sitting and staring at each other for yet another hour waiting for Zhou. They were asking me questions about where, how and why it happened. Not word for word, the guy was writing it down. In between lines they would state comments based off of assumptions. For example, “Oh, the two of you were on a date, well it’s a memorable one now!”, “It’s a good thing your boyfriend was there to translate, he can teach you Chinese” , “The two of you look like you match as a couple”. Then after all the paper work was done, I had to stamp with my index finger and red ink on the lines of each statement, including the one where “I’m with my boyfriend”. To piss me off, my friend was joking around that it’s official, and I even fingered it. To make matters worse, my Waiban finally showed up only to take me back home. This poor man was called in the middle of the night to get to the police station that’s so out of his way just to pick me up and safely bring me back home. He looked at me and my friend and said, “When you said you were with a friend that spoke Chinese really well, I thought it was Sarah”. Then I had to tell him that I couldn’t go home because we still had to meet our friends that we were supposed to see 3 and a half hours ago. When we got to his car, I finally got to meet his fiance (which let’s face it, was probably not the happiest woman in the world). He gave us a ride to where our friends were, and we finally arrived at the bar that we then left from 20 minutes later because it was closing.

So, what was it exactly that happened to me that I had to spend 3.5 hours in the police station, you ask?

My wallet was stolen. My Chinese debit card, my American debit card and cash is all gone.  If there is one thing you must know about China it’s that if your belongings are stolen or lost, save the tears and move on because there is no Chinese person with a soul that will give it back to you.

Yesterday was Women’s Day- a big deal for Russians. A good friend wanted to hang out and just take me out on a friendly dinner. Despite the fact that I spent all day at home, there was something in my gut telling me not to go. However, I brushed it off and just decided to go. I took a taxi to meet up at Lanzhou University. Apparently I have a tendency to lose my cell phones in the taxis by not checking twice before getting out. I didn’t want the same thing happening to my money so I took out 20 yuan, put it on my lap, closed the wallet and put it back in my purse and zipped it up. I had the 20 yuan in my hand ready to pay. When we arrived to my stop I handed the 20 yuan, got change, put it in my pocket and walked out as another person was getting in. I was waiting to cross the street and I finally got to the other side and we took a bus from there. When I sat down I opened up my purse and noticed my wallet was missing. We got off at one of the stops where there was a police station nearby. My friend knows Chinese very well and was translating for me about what happened. The guy suggested going to the main bus terminal and looking at the cameras to see if someone stole it. How that would exactly help, is beyond me. The person already must have gotten off by the time we got to main bus terminal, and you can’t really track anyone down in China unless that person is a foreigner. We go there anyway, and a woman calls the police for us in order to report the theft. A car finally comes. On the outside it definitely looks like a police car, but when I get in it looks like a regular car. There are no bars to separate the front and the back; however, all taxis in Lanzhou have those bars. 

The guy driving is dressed in casual wear -a red sweater and jeans. I turn to my friend and say, “Can this man be trusted,?”, he responds with a, “Well right now people are seeing 2 foreigners in a police car, and they are probably thinking,  ‘can they be trusted?’ so basically, we’re screwed’ "

So lesson of the day, if you have a gut feeling to not leave your house- follow it! 

Going Under The Knife

Here it is- the dreaded blog about my experience in the hospital. After you read this, you will appreciate American hospitals and it will make you kiss the floor of your hospital in the states.

Over the weekend I began to sleep terribly, not really knowing why. I felt a hole in my stomach, but the kind where it feels like you’re hungry. So I ate oatmeal and drank some tea, hoping it would do the trick. Tuesday I had class in the morning, went to lunch, and started grading papers and BAM! The hole in the stomach feeling came back, much worse. I went to my office and crawled up on the couch, couldn't move.  I called my doctor in Chengdu and she told me she would get my Waiban to get medicine. 20 minutes later, I started throwing up into a bucket full of water. I’m not gonna add any more details to that, because you can probably imagine the splashing of my own vomit. Oops! Well, there’s the full detail. Sorry!  Nearly 3 hours later, I finally mustered the courage to walk out the building and take the bus. Worst idea EVER. The bumping and the traffic did not help the situation. I started feeling slightly better after throwing up, although I still felt nauseous.

My Waiban finally showed up with a box of medicine and a big bottle of Coke. Now, I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure when someone has a stomach ache the last thing they need is a bottle full of gas. Right? But, in true Chinese fashion, the opposite verdict is the correct one.  I reached for the medicine and my Waiban stopped me saying only take it if it gets really bad. I thought, “huh?? It’s already really bad, like at the worst state” I called my doctor, being really confused. To this day, I have no idea why I didn't take the medicine that she clearly prescribed to give me. I couldn't really do anything about it because it was all in Chinese, and if I swallowed too many pills I’d probably be in the hospital for an accidental overdose, instead of the true cause. It seemed that the symptoms were subsiding.

Then I started experiencing excruciating stomach pain at 2:00am. Not only that, my whole left side was swollen, my rib cage was bulging out and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand, lie down, or even sit. I didn't know what to do. Calling anyone at that hour would have been so much effort. I waited it out, pacing around my apartment hunching over and holding on to my stomach, like I was in labor. I have to say, I love having my own apartment but when you’re in need of help, living alone is possibly the worst feeling.  Several hours later, I texted my doctor saying I needed help. I found that if I sat, I would be in less pain. So there I was on my couch, exhausted, in pain, waiting for a call. Around 6:30am my doctor finally called and said I needed to go to the hospital. You would think going to the hospital in desperate time of need, would be super easy- just hail a cab, get in and arrive at the hospital. Wrong! In China it works like this, “Just wait” The procedure is that the doctor calls the Waiban, the Waiban comes with a school car to pick you up and takes you to the hospital. I asked my site mate, Erin to go with me since I was in no condition to speak for myself or even ask questions. The Waiban was too busy to come so he called my counterpart Sally, from the school. An hour later, I was on my way to the hospital.

Here is where the true horror story begins.

Number 1 Hospital of Lanzhou University is considered the best hospital in Lanzhou. If that’s the best hospital, I would really, really hate to see the worst one. I've been to that hospital back in August with my site mate for a brief time, but I wasn't the one getting examined. It’s an entirely different story when you are the one under the microscope. I was in the waiting room of a hallway that’s named “The Resuscitation Area”. Erin and Sally were sitting next to me when Sally started asking questions about the possessive “S”. When someone is in the hospital, it’s not really an appropriate time to ask questions about English grammar. Erin was getting annoyed and I was just so out of it, I didn't bother to care.

 Next, I was brought into a small room with a man working on the computer and a small examination bed. There were other people there with tickets, standing in line to give it to the man. The man would input the information in the computer and send them elsewhere. When the nurse came in, they kicked everyone out and told me to lie on the bed. They poked around and said nothing. Sally and the nurse were talking in Chinese and then Sally would ask me questions about what happened during the night, when did it start happening and what was I feeling. She started mumbling something in English that I couldn't quite understand with hand gestures placed on her mouth. It sounded something like this, “When you throw up, I mean the other side?”  I turned to Erin, and before I even said anything Erin jumped in and assumed she was asking about diarrhea. I told them no, just vomiting and stomach pain. Sally persisted on asking Erin about English vocabulary and grammar. “What is another word?” “poop” “po? Pooooop?” She continued to say it under her breath, repeatedly over and over again. I was smiling because Erin’s face told a story about this Chinese woman who would not shut up and would be killed at any given moment. 

Later, I was taken to get an ultrasound. In china, the protection shield thingy they use to put on your stomach when you get an ultrasound is non-existent. They took one picture and were done with me. The inside of the hospital, as soon as you enter is designed like a circle. As I waited outside of the room, I was looking downstairs to the rush of people coming in and out. There were other patients when the doctor came out and placed the picture above his head to the light and spoke in Chinese. I had no idea what was going on. I walked back to the resuscitation area and was taken to the out-patient room. I would end up staying in that room until 10 at night. Sally told me there was a problem with my intestine and I needed treatment in the hospital. O.K not the worst thing. My blood was taken, and apparently they have a shortage of band aids because they just pressed the opening with a cue tip and threw it on the floor. ON THE FLOOR! And I was just bleeding dry. Then, I was hooked up to an IV bottle and couldn't eat or drink as long as I was on it. Between all the bottles I had numerous teachers come and go to be by my side. One was pregnant and shared the story of her pregnancy loss last year, the other just started working for the school. It was her second day and she was forced to come to the hospital. Lucky me, huh? After 7 bottles of IV fluid, not sleeping all night, being in pain and not drinking or eating for the whole day you can imagine I had no energy to talk to anyone, especially slow English so that other people could understand me. Then the dean, my Waiban and another person working for the foreign affair department showed up. They grilled me about my eating habits and claimed this happened to me because I need to cook for myself and not eat out all the time. I just nodded and didn't even try to argue.

For different shifts, I had different doctors come and poke me some more. They pressed on my bottom right abdomen and I nearly kneed the doctor. I lost count on how many bottles I had, but one in particular was killing me. It was the biggest one yet, and the rate that it was going into my veins was super slow. The potassium chloride was the strongest and if they made it flow any faster it would hurt my hand. Regardless, it did just that. I started complaining about it but it just had to be over and done with. I was then asked to walk to get a CAT scan. There was no IV crane to place it and make walking easy, so another nurse had to hold it, and walk beside me. There was another teacher with me. On the way, I was in the elevator and looked down to my arm, I saw blood rising in the IV and it hurt like hell. All of the sudden, I get a call from the doctor in Chengdu asking me how I am, I handed the phone to the nurse because I felt something was wrong and the next thing I know, I fainted. The teacher was holding my other arm to lift me up, I felt really dizzy and I couldn't see anything in front of me. All I saw were yellow dots as they held me and made me continue walking down the hallway to the CAT scan. After the CAT scan, I was seated while a nurse came to take my blood pressure. They finally had some sense and wheeled me back to the out-patient area and not have me walk!

Around 4:30 pm they told me that I needed surgery because it was appendicitis, even though the CAT scan did not visibly show any symptoms of it. I thought their diagnosis was all wrong because my pain was on my upper left side.

I turned to the doctor and said , “But my pain is here” (pointing to my left side). He told me “Symptom is there but disease is here” Baffled I yelled, “Call my doctor !” His response was, “I am a doctor” With a really frustrated voice I said, “No, I mean my doctor from Chengdu. Call her!”

Soon enough, I received a call from my doctor saying she is taking a flight to Lanzhou to examine the situation. She finally arrived, and after hours of talking to the doctors and making phone calls, the final say was that it was in fact appendicitis. I even received a phone call from a guy in Thailand who is responsible for all of Asia medical emergencies to confirm it. So yea, my first surgery ever and it was in China.

Around midnight I was taken into the surgery room. I was still fully clothed and as they wheeled me on the bed, I leaned up and noticed there was dry blood on the sheet that I was suppose to have surgery on. So note to self- burn all the clothes when you get back home. The room had about 5 male doctors, 2 mainly who spoke English. One guy just kept bombarding me with questions about my thoughts on Chinese hospitals, and even accused me that I didn't trust them well enough. Way to make a girl feel safe! I felt that I was just a prized possession to them and they could finally operate on an American to boost their resume. They then had to stick a needle in my knuckle so that the fluid would go in and knock me out. I wasn't freaked out until they failed numerous attempts on getting the needle in. They called in a female nurse from another department to do it. My leg started shaking and I became really nervous at how disastrous this might end. After the nurse succeeded, 2 seconds later my eyes closed and I saw darkness. 

"Bella, Bella? Wake up, Bella?" I was woken up maybe 2 hours later by 8 Chinese floating heads and Erin looking down at me. I felt slight pain and looked down and I was still in my clothes. I stayed in the hospital for 3 days in which during that time I had many student and teacher visitors. Because I couldn't shower, the students would clean my back and face with wet cloth. I needed help going to the bathroom because squatting after surgery was no easy task. The one thing I was really shocked about was that there was no soap in the bathrooms. One day, the doctor came in and said I needed to start walking around the hallway and that I needed to get a bowl movement. To help me, he further explained that I needed to use an enema. For those who do not know what that is, it's used to shoot liquid up your anus in order to unclog and get you to have a bowl movement. One student who was with me, listening in on the whole conversation, stated, " Oh, when I was in the hospital my mother helped me with that. I can also help you because it is very difficult". Did my student just offer to help me with an enema?? That's where I drew the line! I remembered my mother had snuck a laxative into my luggage before coming to China so I went to the bathroom and just chucked the enema in a garbage can and waited maybe 15 minutes so that they would think I did it. 

Phew, 3 days later and I was back at my apartment. The students came and made rice porridge, cleaned the house and took care of me. My counterpart told me that she was really surprised by me. When I asked why she continued to tell me that she thinks I was really brave, and the fact that I didn't complain at all, cry, or was sad showed that I was really independent. She also said that if her daughter was in that situation, she wouldn't act like me. At least this awful experience has earned me some brownie points with my counterpart :) 

Athena

I was beginning to wonder if I would ever distinguish personalities in China. Why do they all act the same, like robots?  Is it a cultural thing? Is it because I’m a foreigner and they have to act a certain way? Do I not understand their body language or facial expressions?  I had no clue. But Athena, she’s different. She’s not your average Chinese woman. She enjoys drinking, and rightfully admitting so. She teaches about western culture, she’s loud, she’s got her voice amped up to 10 and isn't afraid to show it. She’s confident and she tells the truth, and tells it like it is. By nature she’s 100% Chinese but by nurture, an American.  

The first time I met her was when I was in the hospital for my surgery. It was her second day working for the University and was assigned to slave away (by that I mean rotate with other teachers) in the hospital to look after me. At that point, I was still lying down at the "resuscitation area", having no energy to speak to anyone. I thought “ok, I’m in this bed for another 10 hours and got like 5 more bottles of IV fluid, so I might as well speak to someone”.

 I was expecting to speak slowly so she could understand my English (and trust me it’s exhausting), when she suddenly spoke. I was shocked at how great she sounded speaking English. Most Chinese teachers who speak English do not have good oral English, at all. I got excited because I could finally speak at a normal speed. She actually used words like, “lame” and “sissy”. Athena is someone who knows modern day English and didn't use British English like students who say, “what a pity”. She’d shared her background and how she traveled to the States back in ’07 for 3 months to visit her brother who willingly left to work for an American company because he hated the system in China.  She graduated with a master’s in English Education from Lanzhou University (considered one of the best) and has been teaching since then for 2 years. I was so happy there was a Chinese teacher in our school that could really be a benefit for the students. As I was grilling her, I found out the ugly truth. She wasn't teaching in our school, she was just a worker: working in the reference room to check-in/out books for teachers.

In a confused voice I said, “WHAT??, I’m sorry I must have misunderstood… what do you mean you are not teaching?”

“Yea, the dean isn't hiring any teachers right now but said he needed someone in the reference room and that in 2 years I can start teaching”.

There it is. Such a shame and waste of ability. Giving a mindless job that is designed for a 60 year old woman who doesn't quite want to retire yet to a 32 year old who has experience, great credentials, and great English. I didn't get it but I didn't ask any more questions because it was too depressing and I didn't want to upset her any more than she already was. After the surgery we exchanged phone numbers and promised we’d go grab a drink when I got better. When I came back to teaching I went to visit her in the reference room. I wasn't kidding when I said a mindless job. She just sits there all day, for 9 hours playing games on the computer or reading books waiting for someone to come in and take out a book. For the weeks to follow I was really busy catching up with all of the grading and lesson planning that I haven’t spoken to her for a while.

Yesterday (12.27.12) she text-ed me telling me that my final score for my writing exam was 105 and that it needed to be changed. Not even realizing that she dealt with any of that sort of business, I went down to the reference room. After revising my final (because God forbidden these kids actually receive an extra 5 points) Athena invited me out for dinner, drinks and a favor. Ahhh ha! A favor, it’s starting! But because I liked her so much, I said yes. After work, we went to eat. While we were walking to the restaurant, she asked me why I didn't go home for the holidays. I told her it didn't bother me because Christmas is not a big deal for me since I don’t celebrate it. When I told her I am Jewish, I didn't get the typical response that I always do. She asked, “Oh, do you keep kosher? I actually taught about Judaism to my students in Chongqing”.  At that moment, I seriously fell in love with her! We discussed how students and individuals in general are so naive in China. They are censored about learning other religions and in the end the Government is just making their people very ignorant.  During dinner we also had some interesting conversations. She’s the only Chinese woman I feel comfortable asking about things you would normally talk over with your girlfriends. She’s very open and speaks her mind. All of those questions I had from last month about why she couldn't get a better job were finally answered. Some universities are owned by the federal government, and it is very difficult to get a teaching job, unless you know someone (Wink, wink) “You have to sell something really expensive or sell your soul to get a job, that’s how things work in China. That’s why my brother left.” She was actually thinking about getting her doctorate while working, but you have to gain permission from the dean. Urgh! Another ridiculous rule. Just like me, she’s very observant and said that the dean notices that she’s not like the other women. He’s possibly even intimidated by her knowledge and good English that he’s robbing her of an opportunity that would be really beneficial for the students.

After dinner we walked to her apartment. The favor that she asked for was me editing her translation of an essay written by an 80 year old Chinese man who was explaining the concept of Tai Chi through the Big Bang. Her home was a modern take with a fusion of Asian style. She’s obsessed with plants and flowers and has little souvenirs all around her apartment. Her husband has his own room for calligraphy and she has her own room for her extensive collection of books. We looked over pictures of her wedding and her travels in the States from Milwaukee (where her brother lived), Salt lake city, Mount Rushmore, Niagara Falls, Las Vegas, Los Angles  New York, and so many more! We were sipping tea and talking about Russian authors like Chekhov and Dostoevsky  It was a good, spontaneous day spent with an intellectually stimulating person who finally, finally  knows what Judaism is.  I sincerely hope that she will get an opportunity to teach soon because students can actually learn a lot and need her to have some common knowledge.

'Tis The Season To Be Jolly

Oh, December! A time for snow, negative degrees, frost bites, hot chocolate, Hanukkah, Christmas movies and songs, decorating the tree, many celebrations and I mean many. And above all it means the first semester is over.

I can still remember all the months leading up to my departure. Leaving everyone and everything behind. I measure time by periods to look forward to upcoming events, such as the welcome party in September, Halloween in October, Thanksgiving in November and now Xmas and New Years Eve. Once those events arrive, it all flashes by and there I am a month later looking at the calendar thinking, "Holy shit! That was a month ago??"

People (Chinese and American) hold their breath with their hands on their heart when I say 2 years. But if you think about it, it's not that long. It actually goes by fast, especially if you measure time like I do. Now, I have a ton of stuff to look forward to in January and February. My traveling throughout China, in service training to see all of the volunteers and Thailand! Pretty sweet, eh? Vacation always zooms right past you, and then next thing you know, I'll be standing in front of the class for my second semester. That's already half a year gone by.

It has been challenging when many people asked me why I don't go home for Xmas. I just say, that it doesn't bother me because I don't celebrate it. I get really confused looks afterwards. Trying to explain that i'm Jewish is like getting your teeth pulled- they don't quite understand the concept of other religions. In the States, yea Xmas is all around even if you don't celebrate it, and basically all of my friends celebrate it and so do many of the guys I've dated. It never bothered me before, and I've actually joked around that i'm more Catholic than Jewish. In China, however, they automatically assume you are Catholic and many questions get asked. With all the Xmas celebrations, parties and music (courtesy of my site mate who is obsessed with it) I've grown fed up with the mentions of the "C" word. I've actually become-- Scrooge! (or Grinch, which ever analogy floats your boat). After a while though (and much venting) I took it for what it was- curiosity. So, I caved in and went along with it.


And so, I've spent this past month, organizing many activities and parties for Xmas and also attending parties at other volunteers' schools. China has actually made me do things I don't normally do, like sing! I just sang today in front a roomful of anxious students and my dean. Wasn't all that scary, although I noticed I was the only one with the mic actually on and signing, while the background students were swaying back and forth. Regardless, it's a great story now. I also ended up caroling with the English Club around the college for funds. First time I ever actually sang some of the Xmas songs, I felt very Catholic afterwards (Yay for integrating)


Anyway, for all of those wallowing at my absence from home in New York, I can assure you I'll be home before you know it! And in the meantime, here are some pictures to show you how my spirits have been high, despite the fact that I do get home sick.

     

                                          

So bad, it's good.

I was in class when suddenly I received this text message: 

Dear teacher,
On account of an attack of the flu with a severe headache, I shall be unable to attend classes today.
I shall be much obliged if i can get your permission. 
Respectfully yours,
Afan 

Each sentence is an expression used from different chapters from the book we use in class. Well, at least she's applying it in real life!

It's so bad, that it's so good.  Then, I thought it would be great to upload some pics of other writings from students and local places when using English. I don't ever mock my students, I just find it amusing sometimes.

My name is officially tainted by twilight

Chinglish gone wrong

Who is being recommended, David or Tom? 

My students were assigned to do a resume

Joys and Challanges

I was asked to write about the joys and challenges of my first few weeks in Lanzhou to my site director. I’ve been meaning to write about the campus life, how teaching is going, and who I work with. Since they asked to write about those experiences I just copy and pasted what I wrote to my site director. I did change and add a few things though. So here it is…

Adjusting to the life on a Chinese university campus wasn’t as hard as I thought it to be. I’ve befriended students, my counterpart, other faculty members in the English department, the waiban and the deans who are willing to help in any which way possible. I’ve noticed that the shuttle bus from the school back to the apartment only waits for 10 minutes after class is over, leaving no time to interact with the students. Some teachers even have secretarial work as well as teach. They rush to go home any chance they get. It seems as though they have the same minimum hours as I do, and it baffles me because in America a teacher’s hours are 40 hours a week, not included their office hours. I haven’t had a chance yet to observe their classes, and it is on my to-do list because I would love to see how they interact with the students within the classroom. My relationship with the waiban can be described as this:

Me: Hi zhou, how are you?

Zhou: Fine.

Me: uhh well I’m calling to let you know that my internet doesn’t work. Can you come look at it when you are free?

 Zhou: Ok. I can come tomorrow. Maybe after 12.

Me: do you know the exact time?

Zhou: NO

Me: Ok. See you tomorrow, after 12

             He is only 26 years old and it is a huge responsibility to take on two girls and insure their safety and satisfaction while staying in China, no doubt.  He does not work for the English department, so I rarely see him unless my hot plate broke again, my internet isn’t working, my toilet isn’t working, or if he needs my visa. My site mate and I are always saying how it would be nice to grab dinner with him and just have a decent conversation because he is so close to age with us, that it seems absurd not to have a good relationships outside of him being “mister fix it”. I don’t live on campus, but I spend most of my time there between classes, lunch and activities at night. There are four major cafeterias serving different types of food. One serves free drinks with it, so it is the most crowded. Before it became a university it was a regular community with apartment buildings and so there are a lot of little shops and restaurants left surrounding the campus. My favorite to eat is huo lo mian, just noodles and some meat. All the boys go there because it is bigger proportion and cheap.  Every morning I have to take the elevator to the 8^th floor walk down the hallway to the left and go down the stairs to the 6^th floor.  A lot of doors are locked because they try to get the students to use the stairs so that the elevators will be vacant for the teachers. No common sense of course, because what student who has class on the 8^th floor is gonna use the stairs? So if I need to get to my Waiban’s office (in the hallway that has locked doors on both sides) I have to go up the stairs again to the 8^th floor, walk down the hallway and just go down one more floor. It’s quite the maze, but once you know all the doors around the building, it’s just second nature.  Thanks to the help of a wonderful student, I now know where to get keys for my classes.  Erin and I keyed the term “key shifu” (the key boss) and befriended the man. We have nicknames and inside jokes about people in the school to help us remember who they are. 

                 The main dean’s name is similar to 3 other deans’ names, so it got super confusing!  I decided to have him known as “Arthur”, because I believe he looks like the 90’s aardvark cartoon character. I know it sounds bad, but really it isn’t.  I though Arthur was the cutest thing ever on TV. I used to love that show and had a lot of respect for him, so it’s really flattering. He just got his book published from translating a Chinese text to English- pretty impressive! Many teachers who work at the school also live in the same building as us. Therefore, in the morning we would see most of them on the way to the shuttle bus and have small talk. Every new person we see in the building we just say “Ni hao” to let them know who we are. We also have some favorite local dishes restaurants that we go to that is literally across the street from us. The overall environment of the students and teachers I am very much comfortable with, and I’m very happy with the site placement and I think I have a good fit within the community. Most importantly, I feel needed. I enjoy spending time during lunch with my students and going on day trips with them. I’m learning a lot about Chinese culture and I can see myself staying committed for two years.

            What came as a shock was the way the students acted in the class. Requesting “leaves” every time and the cheating is the most frustrating aspects of being a teacher. Three of my classes are juniors, since it is a 3 year college they leave at the end of October to start practicals/internships/jobs. I think most of them have senioritis (the act of being a jerk and not caring anymore about school), and so sometimes I felt like I came into class to teach students who did not care anymore and received a huge middle finger to my face. I think what upset me the most was that I felt disrespected as a teacher. I didn’t know whether or not they acted like this because I was a foreign teacher and they thought they could just walk all over me or it was because they were stressed out and nervous. I’ve vented out my anger with other fellow volunteers, and I was told that during their Chinese classes, they also do this. Now what angered me the most is the lack of discipline and carelessness on the part of the Chinese teachers to not have said anything. It’s just like, if you give in to a child’s tantrums, they will continue doing it until they get their way. I knew I was here to teach English and focus on what I could change so I’ve learned to deal with this and focus my energy and time on those who did care. I changed up some of the class material to be more active, so that the students wouldn’t have a chance to just sit around and play on their phones or chat with other students. I’ve also remembered that the TEFL trainers have said not to give them an opportunity to cheat. Therefore, after one test I learned my lesson, although now the dean requires a written test for the final. In order to avoid another horrible cheating escapade, I brain stormed a way that no book or cell phone dictionary could help them. One simple question on a blank piece of paper: What have you learned in my class?

Another frustrating aspect is that we’ve been told that most of the time, if not all the time we will be getting the “last minute treatment”. I’ve experienced that several times already, including a whole new schedule and classes in the mid semester and taking over another teacher’s classes and changing my hours to fit those classes. Luckily, I was able to knock some sense into the dean and let him know that I will be finishing classes in two weeks, so after that I wouldn’t mind taking over. There just comes a point where you can’t stand feeling like you are being pushed around all the time. For a while I felt like an American dummy, being pulled every direction by an upper hand that wanted to squeeze every ounce of my native English abilities to good use. Book nook, English corner, English club, topic night, speech competition, knowledge competition… these are just a few responsibilities we had to take over or help lead within our FIRST MONTH, and did I mention that I was also teaching 14 hours and grading 130 students’ writing activities? I really don’t mind being busy but sometimes I feel like all these competitions and events are for the reputation of the school as opposed to the benefit of the students. It really hit me this past Friday when I was asked to judge and give constructive criticism to the students after they have given a prepared speech for the upcoming competition in November. Everyone was silent and the dean would point to me to start speaking, since I’m native and all. It was evident, even with a blind eye, who was better or what they needed to work on. The students were chosen from non- English departments and English departments. It just seemed incredibly unfair to the students to put themselves down in front of the dean and the Chinese English teachers and then have me, the native English bitch criticize them. I mean once I started, it was like word vomit. I knew after the second or third student, I had three more to go so I just ripped the Band-Aid. I felt incredibly low after that, and I could see the look on the students’ faces that they didn’t want to part take in any of it.

I’m trying my best to organize events that can really help them improve their English as opposed to always having them be against each other and crown the winner of who has the best English. I took this as a beginning of my aggravated ambition for my secondary project. Peer Leaderships. The concept is to work together to build positive relationships within every grade and help motivate each other to do better.  It is obviously still a work in progress but I spoke to some juniors who are heavily involved with the school and the English department, and they loved the idea and even offered to help start it. I think every day I am discovering how to turn negative or frustrating situations into positive possibilities. Like I mentioned earlier, I feel that I am needed here and that is why I am willing to work out my challenges into something more meaningful. It might not be an instant change, I might not even get to see how they improved their English, but I do know that for the English majors, the level they achieve is heavily based on the future they will have. Knowing this gives me the motivation to create opportunities for them to learn on a daily basis, whether it being during class or during lunch.